If the avoidant avoids, the anxious preoccupied chooses a partner that is forever on the verge of leaving them or treat them inconsistently. You’ll remember from my previous post that the dismissive tends to thrive in these hot/cold relationships, where they constantly withdraw from a partner who’s about to come too close for comfort. Well,…

Have you ever had someone telling you: “I’m fine, everything is perfectly fine”, and yet, their life seems to look like a battlefield that never ever ends? From my current perspective and understanding of life, emotional unavailability seems to almost be a default in human beings, whether it is lived as a dismissive/avoidant or as…

There seems to be a fascination in humans, similar to a stubborn program bug, that makes people unwilling, unable and/or unsuccessful in acknowledging patterns that are not bringing them what they seemingly want. It seems to be too painful for people to just stop and become clear about how it is that they are bringing…

Let’s say you are a single woman and you meet a guy. Let’s assume you are attracted by this guy. What is attraction really? Some instinctual part of your brain is going to communicate to you that you and this guy can create something unique – usually, it is a child, but it can be…

It’s pleasant outside. If you go to the park, you’re going to see a lot of moms proudly walking their baby in his pushchair. If you look at the baby, let’s say it’s a baby boy, he is literally scanning his mother’s body language, with a particular emphasis on the face. In the first months…