There seems to be a fascination in humans, similar to a stubborn program bug, that makes people unwilling, unable and/or unsuccessful in acknowledging patterns that are not bringing them what they seemingly want. It seems to be too painful for people to just stop and become clear about how it is that they are bringing upon their own unhappiness and turmoil. In this context, it is simply impossible to see what does not work, so people keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different outcomes. When something does not work, we like to blame the other person, using vital energy to project our own dis-ease onto people we come in contact with. The lack of clarity seems to come because of some unfortunate external circumstance that doesn’t provide the experience we seek, but that is only an illusion. The reality is that people do not want resolution of their perceived problems – how come? – they never even stop enough so as to understand what and where the problem is! Clarity can only come about oneself. If you are not clear about yourself, how can you even understand what clarity is – whether about another person, a circumstance, or life in general? I mean, if you didn’t know what a car looked like, how would you even recognize a car?
People desire something to happen and they go about fulfilling their desire in a certain way. Over and over again, they hit a wall. That wall can have many faces and facets. What people do not stop to understand though, is that they themselves are doing the action of hitting and that the wall is simply their own magnetic target, not something life hits them with. People have a lot of training in how to hit walls. Have you noticed? I think every one of us knows someone who keeps going into impossible relationships, with incompatible partners, where things end up with crippling suffering and despair?!?… And while people do feel the impact, they do not seem to have the maturity or even the desire to stop the hitting and flow to where there are no walls.
In time and with profound awareness, it is possible to understand that every single wall you hit is in fact life guiding you towards the flow: “not there!“, “dead-end!” – whatever it might say, in its infinite wisdom, life just guides itself/you towards what does work. If only we would just flow… if only we would just be comfortable with what works, if only we could just recognize the difference between what we really want and what we say we want!
What people really want is the exact experience they are producing: that of frustration, anger, shame… the deep unconscious wanting is what produces the experience. What we say we want is irrelevant. If there is something unconscious in a person that needs to experience shame, for example, they will seek and involve themselves over and over again with people and circumstances where they can experience the sensations of shame. What is healthy, what is pleasant, what is inspiring, will not feel attractive to them. It will feel strange, uncomfortable, weird and undesirable. Think about it: if you feel comfortable with pain, you will feel uncomfortable with pleasure… duhh!!
It is THAT simple!
The problem is NEVER with another, nor is the resolution. The resolution comes from clarity, awareness and integrity: are you clear enough to recognize the patterns in your life that make you keep hitting walls of pain and dissatisfaction? Can you become aware of them happening? Do you have the strength, the integrity to act in a way where you recognize that it is your own inner compass that smashes you into those walls?

Let’s say you are a man who keeps getting himself into unsatisfactory relationships. For one reason or another, the girls you attract into your life end up disappointing you. The majority of people will call this “bad luck”. But is it? If we look closer, that man will be attracted by any girl that brings him that disappointed feeling. How do we come to this conclusion? Well, this is what is REAL. Like it or not, that is where the man is at! That man is magnetically, viscerally attracted exclusively by the girl who will be the “wrong girl” for him. It’s just that she isn’t the wrong girl at all, she is the perfect girl to keep him stuck in his familiar pain. Nothing else will do – “I am simply not attracted by another type”; “I’ve always been attracted by this type”… so yes, you will ALWAYS be experiencing the same pain, and you are simply NEVER going to be attracted by anything different than that.

This is clarity!

Here are some (harsh) answers to the most common questions I came across, both in my personal and professional life:
“When will I have the thing/person I want?” You already have exactly what you want! You perceive, think and act exactly the way that brings you your own reality. You simply are the type of person who gets what you’ve got. “You create your own reality”, but not from the moment you read that in some airy-fairy new-age circles. You created your own reality ever since reality existed.
“Can this situation change?” Everything evolves, but on this planet, it is highly unlikely that a tree will become a monkey… and if it does evolve that way, you will see that situation unsatisfactory as long as you still want the tree.
“How do I become happy and fulfilled?” First, you acknowledge that you are not! That step is difficult enough for people, so for now, I will stop here.

 

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